It’s the big day! Our second child, Silas Koa is about to be born! The emotions, the excitement, the anticipation, the unknown, yeah I am dealing with all of it right now. As I sit here and wait watching the screens, counting the contractions, monitoring the heart rate, and checking on Lindsey I am noticing just how helpless I am in this situation. So here has been my solution, I’ve been pacing, watching tv, eating, and driving Lindsey nuts, only to realize I have absolutely no control. I can’t rush the process. I can’t take her pain. I can’t change how this will affect our future or how Eli will respond to being a brother. It is one of the strangest feelings because if any of you know me, I like to have a sense on control in my life.
The truth is though, the more I admit how helpless I am, the more it forces me to just turn to God and trust him to be greater than my helplessness. I can’t take Lindsey’s pain, but I can pray for Lindsey’s health and comfort. I can’t change our future, but I can trust God when he says not to worry. So I just sit and wait, finding comfort in God being God.
2 Corintians 12:9-10, “three times I begged the Lord to take it away, each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work though me… For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
It’s crazy to think that it has been two years since sitting in this same spot waiting for Eli to be born. Crying out to God that night, and having to just place Lindsey’s body in His mighty hands.
What if I learned how to live everyday in this same sense of helplessness and need of God? What if we all learned what it meant to truly be at a spot to have to just cry out because we can’t do anything. I would dare to say we would see God work more in ways that only He can. The problem, I believe, is that we have become so self-sufficient that we have lost what it means to need God in our daily lives. Due to that, and relying on ourselves we have missed the power of God working around us.
Man Josh that article really hit home (Eric). I was in your shoes when u said about being helpless, can’t do anything when my Wife Sue was in the hospital for a month cause of a Doctor injured her! I felt just helplessness, just can’t do nothing but pray day in day out & Jesus heald her& I am so grateful-fell on my knees in praise! Just couldn’t be so thankful.