Over the last few weeks being at home with the boys, discipline has become part of our daily lives. It could be fighting over the same car, throwing things at each other, hitting, you name it, we have faced it during this time. So it also means the timeout chair and being sent to their rooms has been happening. Does it mean the boys agree with me? Yeah right. Do they kick and scream? Absolutely! But as their parents Lindsey and I are learning that this is part of what God is calling us to. Is it enjoyable for us? Heck no. It would be a whole lot easier to just let them stay up at night or not eat their dinner. Do you remember the old phrase all our parents use to say, “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.” But we are called to be the parents, not just being another friend to our kids. They may not understand it now, but it is what is needed. As Timothy says in Scripture we must manage our own household well. Part of that is discipline. But it also means explaining to them that we are doing it out of God’s love and that we want what is best for them.
Now the problem comes in with how the world now sees discipline. None of us like the word discipline. Part of that is because we hate being honest when we screw up. So we call it “judgment” when we are guilty. We have all heard it, especially within church. “Why you judging me?” Can you imagine Eli or Silas saying that to me as they are getting sent to timeout. Eli may have just been caught red handed but yet he still tries to blame Silas. It isn’t something he had to be taught, it is part of our sinful nature. This isn’t something new, but goes back to the beginning of time, to the garden of Eden. In Genesis 3, Adam blames Eve, then Eve blames the serpent. We see it still in today’s world. To come up with an excuse or play the blame game. Can you imagine Adam saying to God, “Why you judging me, God I am going to go to a different garden where they just accept my sin.” So when it comes to my boys, I am not judging them, I am trying to teach them. The same is true as my role as a pastor. When someone calls me drunk out of their mind, I am not judging them, I am trying to speak truth. When I continue to meet with someone about their marriage failing, yet week in and week out they tell me of their porn issues. I am not judging them, I am trying to lead them,.
As a parent and as a pastor, part of my role is to lead. If I see one of my boys driving off a cliff, figuratively speaking, you better believe there is going to be discipline. That is part of my God-given responsibility. Same is true as my role as a pastor. If someone in my flock is making decisions that is blatantly sin, then it is my responsibility to speak up. I can’t just sit by and watch. I am responsible. Think of it this way, as a pastor my boss is God himself, I answer to Him for those who follow after me. Can you imagine me saying to Him that I had a few drive off the cliff because I was worried how they’d respond, and Him looking at me and saying, “they were your responsibility.”
Now please hear me in saying this. I need people in my life who are willing to point out my own shortcomings. Is it fun to sit and hear areas that I need to work on, or hear of sin in my life that I have been trying to hide or ignore? Heck no! In all reality, those conversations hurt, but many times, they are the ones most needed. We all need people in our lives who are willing to speak up. So I ask you now, do you have someone like that. Just like Eli and Silas, we need others who will lead us. I loves my boys to much to just sit by and watch, but it has to be done in love with a teaching spirit.