That’s not fair.
A little over a week ago now, our boys had off from school on Thursday and Friday for parent teacher conferences. Needless to say, even though they were off Silas still managed to be wide awake at 6 am. Here we are still sold asleep with our alarms not going off for at least another half hour, only to find him staring over our bed, waiting for us to move. Startled Lindsey rolls over with a small shriek telling him to go back to bed. Instead he just keep standing there, then quietly asks if he can put a show on. Then it got interesting, as my wife made a comment to the affect of, “Silas maybe you should go to work for me and I will stay home now that you are up already.” Without missing a beat he looks around and then answered, “Mommy sometimes life isn’t fair. You just have to do what you don’t always want to.” Hearing all this I couldn’t help laugh but was also waiting for the thud to hit the floor if she threw him across the room. Eventually we did get up, both of us head to work, as the kids got to stay home and hang out with their grandparents.
Throughout the day that phrase “it’s not fair” kept running through my mind. How many times have we all said that. In a home with 4 kids we hear it all the time. How many times as adults do we stay it though also. Maybe when someone gets that promotion or has the nice house. When someone gets the new car or what seems like the dream life. That’s not fair. Then we take it one step further and start compiling to God about it. God why did you answer their prayer and not mine. Why did you heal them and not me? God why did you bless them with kids and not us… You get my point. “It’s Not Fair,” as we gripe and complain.
Then of course my mind starts thinking about it in a biblical perspective. The older son in the prodigal son story. He has watched his younger brother pretty much betray the family, break his father’s heart, squander everything, and just up and leave. Yet when he decided after years to come back home, this same heartbroken father is going to celebrate and throw him a party. Can you hear it with me now, the pity party of him chanting, “It’s not fair.”
Against his son’s desire I can imagine the father sitting down with him, let’s call him Johnny for our story, at that moment and saying let’s talk. “Johnny, you have been with me the whole time. Did you ever mess up?” Reluctantly, Johnny tries to play it off, looking all over the room except at the father and saying, “Yes.” Can you imagine the tension in the room at that moment, oh to be a fly on the wall. “Johnny, have we shown you grace and love the whole time your brother was gone?” Again in muttering… “Yes.” The conversation then continues on for about 10 more minutes of questions back and forth, until the Father finally explains that grace looks different for every person. But at the heart of grace is the Father’s love.
To explain it one step further, I tried to put myself into the story as the older son, complaining to God saying it’s not fair. At that point he led me out to a fire pit to have a talk. (I don’t know why, but in my life it seems the most honest conversations happen around a fire). Then God started to speak as the Father, “Was it fair that my perfect child died on a cross for you? Is that fair? Is it fair, that you deserve death in your sins, yet I am giving you the free gift of eternal life?” Again the questioning goes on for a while only to make me realize that I am so grateful that grace isn’t fair or comprehendible, but it is amazing. That’s what makes it grace. It goes beyond reason the God himself desires a relationship with me, that he would sacrifice His son.
So this Thanksgiving think about grace, all that God has done for you. If you catch yourself griping or complaining about something not being fair, think of what Jesus did for you and let that transform your heart to a heart of gratitude.