Recently in our house we have noticed a disturbing trend. Yet I feel as if it is one that every parent as some point or another faces. It is a trend that we are trying to nip in the butt right away, but it is also something that makes us look at ourselves and question how much we do it. There are times you want to laugh about it, other times you want to get frustrated, and still other times you just shake your head. What am I talking about… wait for it… the blame game. Eli is now at the age he is learning to blame his younger brother Silas for things.
This example will probably make some of you laugh and others say that we are disgusting but either way hear me out. Here it was about 7 in the morning, we had just come downstairs to get ready for the day. Lindsey was starting to get ready in the bathroom and Silas and I were in the kitchen getting breakfast together and coffee made. Eli was in the toy room by himself playing trains making all kinds of noise but then there was this distinct sound that we knew right away. Loud as can be, he had just ripped a five second burner. In simpler terms, not so graphic, he farted, and I mean an all out man fart. All of us in the house heard it, and I hear Lindsey from the bathroom go, “ELI.” Without missing a beat, he started to blame Silas. “Mommy, Silas pooted. EWWWW!” Now I will give Linds credit she tried to make it a learning experience while trying not to laugh. I could hear her saying, “If you’re gonna blame someone, they at least have to be in the room, or blame the dog.”
There have been other times though where He flat out will lie to us or spill something and automatically he tries to blame someone else. He spills his milk, “Daddy, that was your fault, you didnt put the lid on right.” Throws his shoes out the window, (No Joke either we’ve lost multiple pairs) blames his brother. Pees all over the bathroom wall, it was the outfits fault. Sometimes the excuses he comes up with are straight up comical, and you just shake your head like where did you come up with that. The list could go on and on.
Spiritually thinking though I wonder how many of us are the same way when we do something we know is wrong. When we get caught up in straight disobedience, and we try and blame someone else or come up with an excuse. “God you don’t understand, they made me do it.” This goes back to the beginning of time. Adam and Eve isn’t the garden. “The woman made me do it.” Blame. Instead of responsibility or accountability, we look for a scapegoat. What’s crazy is if you continue on in that story, Adam not only blames Eve, but then Eve blames the serpent. We pass the buck. And it has continued throughout history.
“GOD said, “Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?” The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.” GOD said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?” “The serpent seduced me,” she said, “and I ate.””
Genesis 3:11-13
What we are trying to teach Eli is the value in honesty, in confession, in forgiveness. Just the other day we caught a glimpse of this lesson ringing true in his life. A proud parent moment you could say. We were in the kitchen, Eli had just gotten some chocolate milk and was heading towards the living room. Crash, and the sound of glass shattering. Linds and I both go runnning to make sure everything was okay. As we round the corner here comes Eli with this look on his face, “Daddy I’m sorry, I did it. I was trying to put my milk down and the cup got caught in the cord.” At that moment I was able to share with him that accidents happen and thank him for his honesty.
The truth is though, there are times I will even find myself blaming my two boys for things. Even when Linds just looks at me like, really? Why do we do it? I dont have a reason but I am definitely learning the value in honesty, even when it hurts. What if we could all take that same approach with God. Honesty. Confession. Forgiveness.