Exodus 20:13, “Thou shall not lie.”
Tell me the truth. Be honest, don’t lie to me. Tell me what really happened. These have become common phrases in our house recently. As Eli gets older and his reasoning and vocabulary becomes stronger we are starting to deal with an issue I believe every parent does, lying. Isn’t it crazy that of all things that need to be taught to a child, lying is something they just know. We dont need to show them how to do it or teach them what a white lie is, they just pick it up. The truth is if it isn’t handeled correctly or dealt with appropriately early on it just seems to get worse.
So the other day I was playing in the garage with Silas as he raced down his track on the his Lightning McQueen car. As he’s going all out no hands full speed ahead for him, I hear Eli start running towards me. “Daddy, Daddy come quick there is something wrong with the hose.” In my mind I am thinking that maybe he just loosened it and it was leaking or that the nozzle got stuck on. As we approached though I noticed it spraying out the side all over the house. So I ask him, “Eli what happened?” His response without even flinching, “Silas did it.” Knowing that Silas was with me I was intreigued to see where this was going. “Silas did what bud?” He then looked at me, held out his hand to show me a nail. “Silas put a nail through the hose, Dad.” At that moment I started getting frustrated. “Eli, tell me the truth.” Knowing our 2 year old Silas could not put a nail through the hose I started asking again. “Please be honest Eli.” This time he changed his response. “It must have been mommy, yeah it was mommy.” Now so you know Lindsey was still at work at this point. “Eli, You still aren’t telling me the truth. I think we need to go to timeout for a little bit to think about what happened.” With that his face dropped, and he just mumbled, “It was me, how long do I have to sit for?”
At first I started thinking to myself how could he just lie to us like that. Then I started thinking how often do we lie to get ourselves out of a jam, or to diffuse a situation. How often do we just not say anything hoping someone else will never find out. I had my own personal incident the very next day. I was working on our front foyer putting down flooring. While on the front porch cutting the tile the jigsaw jumped on me, knicking the side of my thumb and then Linds new metal chairs. My first thought and I am ashamed to say was to move the chair to the back and cover it up, hoping that she would never see it. Yet as I thought about it I couldn’t help but think about the incident with Eli just days before. How could I have that thought? Why would I try to deceive her? I need to just be honest. Guess what, she forgave me. Yes she was frustrated at first, but accidents happen and forgiveness takes place. Honesty, confession, forgiveness. I believe are all three foundational words in marriage and in parenting. These are all words we want both our boys to learn.
It was definitely a learning moment in our house. Not only for the boys, but also for Lindsey and I. It challenged us to think about the times in marriage when truth must be spoken, even if it might hurt. It challenged us to open our mouths to speak even if it is easier to remain silent. It also taught us about our faith. To confess before God. It’s not like He doesn’t know already. How freeing is it though to get hints off your chest that maybe you have been trying to hide or conceal? There is a peace that comes from being open and honest. May there be consequences, absolutely, but there is freedom with a clear conscience.